Authenticity and Buddhism

I’ve been realizing lately that I have been paying a physical and emotional price for pretending: pretending to still be a Christian, pretending to go along with my family, pretending that I am not planning to move, etc.

When I look at it from a Buddhist perspective, I run into some interesting things. In Buddhism, there is no “you” to be true to. How can you be true to a self that exists only contingently upon various circumstances, that arises interdependently with everything else?

Perhaps I am simply trying (rather unsuccessfully) to be true to some shifting version of myself. I know that my physical health seems to depend to some degree upon my emotional and spiritual honesty with myself. But that self is continuously changing and what I am trying to be true to today bears little resemblance to the self of twenty years ago.

I am trying to be “real,” but a real what? I’ve got some thinking to do.

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About cdhoagpurple

I have an MBA, am married to a GM/UAW retiree with Huntington's Disease. I am more Buddhist than Christian. I plan on moving to Virginia when widowed. I have a friend''s parents that live down there and another friend living in Maryland. I am simplifying my life in preparation for the eventual move.Eight years ago, my husband had stage 4 cancer. I am truly "neither here nor there." My identity shifts and I am always surprised where I end up. 2015 was my hardest year ever. This is my Dark Night of the Soul. Welcome to it.

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