Freedom from Myself

I’ve been intently interested in the concept of “freedom” lately, especially since I am leaving my church in a couple weeks. Researching the concept from a Buddhist perspective always comes back to the idea of “freedom from oneself.” Given the political upheaval of the shutdown, I have been greatly gratified by the resolution, both the substance of the solution and the timeliness of it. That has made equanimity and emotional simplicity elusive.

I need to practice more zazen. I don’t want to live as a slave of my emotions, even good ones, anymore. I don’t want to become like my mother, a common sentiment, I suppose. My mother is very conservative politically and in climate change denial. Feeling like I am gloating puts me on a level playing field with her. Ugh. It’s a side of me that I am not proud of.

I want freedom from greed, anger, and delusion, the three poisons. Any other “freedom” is more illusory than real.


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About cdhoagpurple

I have an MBA, am married to a GM/UAW retiree with Huntington's Disease. I am more Buddhist than Christian. I plan on moving to Virginia when widowed. I have a friend''s parents that live down there and another friend living in Maryland. I am simplifying my life in preparation for the eventual move.Eight years ago, my husband had stage 4 cancer. I am truly "neither here nor there." My identity shifts and I am always surprised where I end up. 2015 was my hardest year ever. This is my Dark Night of the Soul. Welcome to it.

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