Interconnectedness and Boundaries

Interconnectedness and Boundaries


Every time I turn around, I find more connections between people and their environments. Then, I look in a different direction and find boundary problems. People don’t know where they end and others begin. I see blatant attempts at emotional manipulation, deception, denial, you name it.

I do not know how to reconcile these realities of interconnection versus invasion. How does one acknowledge their interconnectedness without feeling violated? To deny our connectedness is to not live in the real world and to have many easily explainable facts and events become unnecessarily mysterious. When we look at cause and effect, we can start to get a grasp on how affect others and vice-versa.

When I went to church, it was all about obedience, which is basically giving away your power to someone who doesn’t necessarily have your best interests at heart. Good Christian=Moron was my take-away from the situation. I watched myself and others intellectually and emotionally regress in my church. It grieves me to think of it.

Why isn’t influence enough? Why do other people need to control people? I don’t need to control anyone. Keeping my own life in order is a major full-time job, with a sick husband. When people ask me for advice, I do not always oblige because their situation is always different than mine. What if they take my advice and it blows up in their face? I don’t need other people blaming me for their issues.

To me, interconnectedness is reason to treat others more carefully and respectfully. I have the right to do what I want, and so do you, and so does the guy down the street….We are all checks and balances on each other.


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About cdhoagpurple

I have an MBA, am married to a GM/UAW retiree with Huntington's Disease. I am more Buddhist than Christian. I plan on moving to Virginia when widowed. I have a friend''s parents that live down there and another friend living in Maryland. I am simplifying my life in preparation for the eventual move.Eight years ago, my husband had stage 4 cancer. I am truly "neither here nor there." My identity shifts and I am always surprised where I end up. 2015 was my hardest year ever. This is my Dark Night of the Soul. Welcome to it.

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