Stillness and Being Myself

“Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” Hermann Hesse in The Wonders of Solitude, edited by Dale Salwak

This is what I need right now: permission from myself to be myself. I want some sanity. I want peace.

It may be selfish, but I am just trying to comfort myself at this point, until we see the oncologist this upcoming Thursday. I am doing whatever I can to make myself feel better. My time is pretty much spent with Barry, so there is little I can do away from him. He seems to be clueless. I envy him. I am pretending to be just as clueless as he is, but that is hard on me. So I read, rake, nap, and do simple little things. Biding my time in so many ways.

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About cdhoagpurple

I have an MBA, am married to a GM/UAW retiree with Huntington's Disease. I am more Buddhist than Christian. I plan on moving to Virginia when widowed. I have a friend''s parents that live down there and another friend living in Maryland. I am simplifying my life in preparation for the eventual move.Eight years ago, my husband had stage 4 cancer. I am truly "neither here nor there." My identity shifts and I am always surprised where I end up. 2015 was my hardest year ever. This is my Dark Night of the Soul. Welcome to it.

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