Feeling Better

Yesterday, I was emotionally whipped because of finally getting the cancer-free declaration. I was more worried than even I realized.

Today, I woke up and felt amazingly better. I think it’s because I can start making plans like a normal human being. I was forced to put so much of my life on hold. Now I feel like something emotional is out of the way for me. I suddenly have a feeling of greater freedom and am not sure why. The externals of my life have not changed at all.

Everything is internal before it becomes external. I have made emotional room within myself. I have no idea what will fill it, but I will be careful in what I allow. Space/emptiness is beautiful.

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About cdhoagpurple

I have an MBA, am married to a GM/UAW retiree with Huntington's Disease. I am more Buddhist than Christian. I plan on moving to Virginia when widowed. I have a friend''s parents that live down there and another friend living in Maryland. I am simplifying my life in preparation for the eventual move.Eight years ago, my husband had stage 4 cancer. I am truly "neither here nor there." My identity shifts and I am always surprised where I end up. 2015 was my hardest year ever. This is my Dark Night of the Soul. Welcome to it.

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