Looking to be Useful

I want to be a useful human being. I am looking for ways to be of immediate assistance. I have my MBA and now am determined to increase my intuitive and healing powers. 

This weekend, I plan on checking out a volunteer possibility.

I have been looking online for information regarding the process of personal transformation. I have found a great deal. Just the looking forces me to refine my search: transformation from what to what? If you think of transformation as being like going from a caterpillar to a butterfly, you run into problems. The caterpillar creates a dark cocoon and then emerges as a butterfly. It doesn’t have to take care of the bills in the meantime. The caterpillar is not expected to function on a day-to-day basis.

But the metaphor does emphasize the reality that one cannot remain a caterpillar and then wonder why one cannot fly. Transformation looks painful. It is the death of the caterpillar and it is also the reason it exists. The caterpillar was never meant to remain one.

I have developed many skills, but my primary goal right now is to take care of Barry. Period. When I emerge as a widow (in a warmer climate), who knows what I will be? How can a caterpillar know what life as a butterfly is like? Like the caterpillar in the cocoon, I remain in the dark.


About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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