The Empty Space of Now

I have been looking for a sense of purpose lately.What should I do when Barry passes? How do I make the best of now in the meantime?

Meanwhile, I have been gradually getting rid of things, intentionally creating a vacuum and being curious as to what might want to fill it.

Also, I have been frustrated by dysfunctional status quos that seem impervious to ever-changing reality. How do I help create something better? How do I deal with people that only seem interested in living in the past, which was apparently fabulous for them but holds no nostalgia for me?

For the past few days, I have noticed critical voices in my head. Today, the obvious occurred to me: these voices are from the past. Connecting the dots later, my thought was, “The past does not hold the solutions to today’s problems. These voices have no answers.”

How do I access today’s solutions? Accessing the silence and listening at least until the voices slow down.

It was Einstein that basically said that problems cannot be solved on the same level of thought that created them in the first place. I believe that totally and I also believe that things change so quickly that reaching backwards for answers is hopeless. No one can keep up with today’s changes, especially if one worships the status quo. The only way to even be aware of things going on now is to develop a high level of consciousness. Today’s world demands a level of flexibility impossible while living in the past.

I still don’t know what I should do, but I feel like I am no longer wasting my time and energy looking for answers where none can be found–in the voices of the past.


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About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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