Dysfunctional Traumatized Energy

Everything is energy. Energy, movement, change, and heat are all the same concept applied differently. Everything is changing, so what’s the problem?

Things get stuck. I am currently reading about trauma. Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine is fascinating. In a world of fight-or-flight, I always freeze. The book is about how animals handle trauma and then release it. This is profoundly interesting because, in my experience, we are all traumatized to some degree. We humans positively suck at releasing trauma. We think our way into PTSD. We short-circuit the automatic emotional release mechanisms that would make us healthy. Unthinking animals simply let go in instinctive ways. We try to think our way into solutions, which is fabulous when we are not traumatized, but completely unsuccessful when threatened on a primitive level.

The energy we do not release wreaks havoc in our lives. Talk therapy only helps a small degree because the intellect isn’t the problem in the first place. The solution needs to be somatic. Thinking about traumatic events seems to only re-traumatize ourselves. I can vouch for that. I’ve had enough therapy to be acutely aware of what talking about a problem can and cannot accomplish. I have lost much of my faith in verbal communication due to its ineffectiveness for resolving deep issues. If talk fixed things, my life would have been perfect a good twenty years ago.

I see people re-enacting dysfunctional behaviors everywhere, all the time, including myself. It looks like we are all just working out our issues on each other. I am tired of watching myself and others go around in circles. There has to be a better way to use my energy. I want to help people and organizations to listen to each other, but how can they, if they are frozen in place with fear? I am looking for answers.


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About cdhoagpurple

I have an MBA, am married to a GM/UAW retiree with Huntington's Disease. I am more Buddhist than Christian. I plan on moving to Virginia when widowed. I have a friend''s parents that live down there and another friend living in Maryland. I am simplifying my life in preparation for the eventual move.Eight years ago, my husband had stage 4 cancer. I am truly "neither here nor there." My identity shifts and I am always surprised where I end up. 2015 was my hardest year ever. This is my Dark Night of the Soul. Welcome to it.

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