Commitment to Love

“When we commit to love in our daily life, habits are shattered. We are necessarily working to end domination. Because we no longer are playing by the safe rules of the status quo, rules that if we obey guarantee us a specific outcome, love moves us to a new ground of being. This movement is what most people fear. If we are to galvanize the collective longing for spiritual well-being that is found in the practice of love, we must be more willing to identify the forms that longing will take in daily life.”Toward a Worldwide Culture of Love, bell hooks, Shambhala Sun, July 2006


I am learning the power of love. The idea is interesting that committing to love is not “safe.” What could be less safe than living in a world not committed to love?

As people grow tired of being abused by those in power, I am seeing a letting go of the abusers. People are done arguing or intellectually debating; they’re just not consenting to their own abuse any longer. Those in power look around and panic as they realize they are ruling over fewer and fewer people.

I have stayed in bad situations many times, out of a blue-collar sensibility that “commitment” is necessarily a good thing. After complaining about being treated poorly, some rational friend will always ask me, “Then why do you stay?” At the age of 46, I am finally out of good-sounding answers.

Love must start with oneself. If you can justify abuse against yourself, you will be justifying it against others post-haste. I don’t ever want to be the person that encouraged someone to stay in an abusive situation and then that person is permanently injured or even killed. I don’t want to be the voice saying, “Stay just a little longer…Just a little longer.” Living in an abusive situation makes life not worth living. Been there, done that.



About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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