Generosity or Coercion?

Probably in the next year or two I will be a widow. Barry’s oncologist appointment is Thursday. Even if Hamdan says he is free of cancer, he is still losing weight.

All my life, I have tried to be a giver, not a taker. Perhaps I am swinging too far the other direction, but lately I have felt like I have been involuntarily taking on other people’s issues, physically even. I am at an age where people get sick for seemingly no reason. I am tired of it.

I have decided to protect myself in all ways necessary, whether emotionally, spiritually, or financially. Don’t get me wrong. I still believe in helping, but consciously and deliberately. Not everyone is entitled to my time, talents, and treasures. Period.

The Buddha was clear. We are not to blindly believe whatever others tell us. That is intellectual detachment.

Today, I saw on zenhabits free Christmas ideas, ways to opt out of the seasonal insanity. Awesome.

That’s where I am at. The power of opting out. If enough people say no to having others taking their precious resources, we can start having real conversations regarding what we are actually willing to give, as opposed to having others simply taking what they want and then being offended at the withdrawal of our participation.

No is a powerful word and I intend to use it in all ways necessary until I find something worthy of a genuine yes.


About cdhoagpurple

I have an MBA, am married to a GM/UAW retiree with Huntington's Disease. I am more Buddhist than Christian. I plan on moving to Virginia when widowed. I have a friend''s parents that live down there and another friend living in Maryland. I am simplifying my life in preparation for the eventual move.Eight years ago, my husband had stage 4 cancer. I am truly "neither here nor there." My identity shifts and I am always surprised where I end up. 2015 was my hardest year ever. This is my Dark Night of the Soul. Welcome to it.

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