Archive | February 2015

Simplistic versus Simplicity

Ignorance v Awareness

Inattention v Knowledge

Laziness v Spirit of Helping

Deception v Honesty, Sincerity

Easy for Us v Easy for Them

I found this contrast online simply googling the word “simplicity.” It popped up in the “images” section. I traced it back to “presentationzen.com”. It is perfect.

I have always sought simplicity, and then rebelled against the simplistic viewpoints I have encountered. Pretending climate change is a hoax is not simplicity. It is ignorance of the mind-bogglingly complex interconnections of the real world. It reminds me of Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” debacle of the 1980s. Simplistic attitudes address nothing.

Of course, I found this nugget of perfection on a Zen website. Zen is real. Zen is in-your-face. Zen confronts you with who you are, not the pretty images we all try to project.

The most telling contrast is “Easy for us versus Easy for them.” Ask any programmer and they will tell you that the most complex thing in the world for them is to make a product “intuitive” and user-friendly. Like “the natural look” in makeup, a lot of work goes into its appearance of easy flawlessness. To make something look simple and Zen requires a great deal of up-front thought, planning, and preparation.

Anyone can take something simple and make it look complicated. It takes a genius to make something complicated appear simple. I had an anthropology professor like that. Sitting in his classes made the material seem strikingly obvious and left you feeling like, “Why do the other instructors make all this easy stuff look so hard?” Arthur Helweg (of Western Michigan University) is a genius. That’s all. In my opinion, he is on the level of Steve Jobs.

Leave it to our corporate, consumeristic culture to co-opt, bastardize, and taint the beauty of simplicity. Entire magazines are published to help people look simple and eco-friendly. The people in their articles wear $500 pairs of shoes as they tout the advantages of “simplicity.” It is difficult to imagine them missing the point to any greater extent. Meanwhile, McMindfulness overruns corporate America, encouraging workers to pay closer attention to their jobs. If they are not careful, these workers will start seeing through the meaninglessness of their jobs and start finding ways of making their lives genuinely simple.

I guess the reason the image of the contrasts struck me so hard was my attempt to live more simply and how demanding and relentless simplicity, harmony, and Zen truly are. Talking about them are easy, while doing them is something else. Making time for Zen is challenging. Staying on top of demands is never-ending.

I realized a week or so ago that part of my desire to “live more simply” is nothing more complicated than a yearning to be free of my current responsibilities. There is a limit to how simple my life can become while taking care of a sick husband. Also, the weather has made me want to hibernate until spring. The Weather Channel showed a map of the world’s temperature deviations from normal. The Eastern U.S. and Greenland were blue, indicating cooler than normal temps, and the rest of the world was various shades of red and orange, revealing the truth of global warming. In Michigan, many of us don’t even want to open our front doors because it is so bitterly cold. Nodding off is so easy—and tough to justify in a world gone haywire. “Keeping things simple” may be more fantasy than reality at this point in my life.  I reject both needless complexity and stupid simplisticness. Funny how it doesn’t feel like I am trying to strike a balance. Or be inordinately contrary. But it sure looks that way.

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Should I increase reducemy stress?

I’ve been trying to find ways of doing zazen without falling asleep. I know this is not a rare problem. I’ve been experimenting with breathing faster, adjusting my focus, etc.

I seem to be one of the few people I know that is not ADD. My attention goes somewhere and sticks, like a bulldog. I am definitely more OCD than ADD. If I start to focus on controlling my breathing, I instantly relax, giving myself subconscious permission to let go of stress. This is hazardous. Perhaps I should hold onto the stress. This seems counter-intuitive. The reason I mention any of this is that I am friends with an ever-growing number of ADD people and talking to them stresses me out simply trying to keep track of what they are saying. I am Asperger-y and find listening to them highly annoying and it makes me want to have less contact with my fellow humans in general. Not good. So then I try to do more zazen, and snooze. I trip over myself.

I’m not sure of how much of this is my personal issue, how much of it is inherent in Zen, and how much of it comes from McMindfulness. My problem with Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (and other corporate-friendly attempts to reduce stress via meditation and mindfulness) is that that is not what Zen is or ever has been intended for. On the one hand, our culture desperately needs to develop ways to deal with increasing sensory input and emotional turmoil. Stress can kill people and exacerbate virtually every disorder. On the other hand, using Buddhism to relieve stress accomplishes about the same amount as turning Christianity into just one more self-help venue. The serious stress-reducer and the self-helper can always find more effective non-religious means to accomplish their same ends. No philosophy or doctrine required.

Clarity in purpose is required. Zen is not for relaxing. It is for an ever-growing awareness of my own mind and how it functions (or not, as the case may be).

Right Midfulness

“When Milarepa was young he killed thirty-five people. That’s a serious karmic load that would guarantee a difficult time in the bardo and almost certain rebirth into a lower realm. When he realized the karmic implications of his actions, he practiced as if there was no tomorrow. After twelve years of legendary hardship, Milarepa purified his karma and attained liberation….It was Milarepa’s fear of death that led him to conquer death….We should instill a similar level of wholesome anxiety….With Milarepa as our inspiration and guide, the uncompromising truths of Buddhism can speak for themselves. Let’s not dilute them for Western consumption…. Buddhism is an elegant but raw description of reality. It’s our job, as practitioners of the truth, to align ourselves with reality—not our versions of it.” [Italics added by Cindy Hoag] Preparing to Die by Andrew Holecek, p. 40-41

The Eightfold Path is composed of “Right”: View, Intention, Speech, Action, Livelihood, Effort, Mindfulness, and Concentration. If there is a “right” something, then that creates its dualistic opposite, the “wrong” something.

Wrong mindfulness is all about the present moment without context, as if our actions now affect nothing later—if “later” even exists. This is pop spirituality at its most pernicious. People will pay lots of money to be told that their actions now have no consequences ever.

What draws me to Buddhism has always been its unflinching examination of the mind, life, and death. Living in a culture in denial regarding death has left me feeling alone and adrift. Birth and death are the bookends of this physical existence. Pretending we will never die is delusional. Life has limits. One of my favorite quotes from Shunryu Suzuki comes from his dying process. “If you had a limitless life it would be a real problem for you.” What an understatement.

I am trying to give meaning and purpose to my actions, to give myself good karma. Given that I could easily live another few decades, I need to be functional in this life. Death is the default, like gravity. Life requires effort, like pulling oneself out of a hole. I’ve spent a lot of time preparing for death and now I’m trying to build a reality-based life. Post-modern America is not a great place to do that.

Practice for Death

I realized a few weeks ago that sitting and watching TV in no way constituted “having a life.” As I look, I see more and more similarities between watching TV and death.

There is the altered state of consciousness. Did you know that most people are in an alpha brain state within two minutes of watching TV? I got that from Eldon Taylor’s Mind Programming. The alpha state is a more relaxed state than our normal beta state. It is more susceptible (gullible) because the internal censors of rational thinking and logic have been turned off. That’s why it feels so good. One has ditched the burden of independent, rational thought. This should frighten anyone aware that the average American watches 6-8 hours of TV every day, 365 days a year.

Then there is the sedentariness factor. Sit down. Relax. Take a load off. Stop trying so hard. It seems like almost weekly a new study comes out warning about the dangers of a sedentary lifestyle. Right now, it is hard for me to imagine living a more sedentary life. The weather does not help. Some days, it is so cold I don’t even want to open my front door. The TV cannot be blamed for Michigan’s weather in February, but it doesn’t help, either.

I also consider falling asleep to be practice for death. Lie down. Exhale.  Relax. Enter into another dimension in your mind.

I have been reading a book about the death of Hindu and Zen masters. It is fascinating. I would love to be counted among them.

There is nothing wrong with any of this. We will all die. That much we can be sure of.

But let us practice consciously.

Let us not pretend that killing ourselves with TV is a substitute for living a meaningful life.

Honesty in Life and Death

The latest issue of Shambhala Sun has an interesting article by Rachel Neumann about a woman getting married. It was her husband’s idea. Her father even asked if he could use the word “marriage.” The couple grudgingly, but only at the end of the ceremony. The couple made no promises and then ran into the Pacific Ocean—“taking the plunge after taking the plunge.” The author/bride wanted the ceremony to acknowledge the impermanence of everything. “Marriage, from the little I’d seen, seemed a strange and false ritual: a public display of certainty about something that was by its nature private and transitory.” (p. 27, March 2015) Amen, sister.

This may sound stupid, but I’ll say it anyway. I am struggling with two things right now: life and death. Can anyone say, “Duuuuuuuh”? These are the universal concerns of all humanity. And I am struggling in particular with people’s/society’s total denial regarding them both.

For example, I need to call the long-term-care insurance people to see what I can get in terms of respite care. I want to work (or at least get out of the house) regularly during the week and I am not comfortable leaving Barry alone for extended regular periods of time. This is due to the fact that, first, he had cancer and was terminally ill and that, second, he lived through all of that and is still here. He will not be happy with me being gone, but I have put my life on hold for years now and I am getting beyond stir crazy.

Another example. I have a god sister that is turning sixty this year and is going back to school. So far, so good, right?  Not so fast. When I mentioned that she might be working for the next umpteen years, she kid of chuckled like, “Uh. I don’t think so.” She has no husband, children, or pension. Social Security was never designed to be an elderly person’s sole income, let alone help that person pay off their mortgage. When it was invented, during the depression, many assumptions were in place. The elderly were expected to live with their children, men were assumed to have pensions, women were assumed to have husbands, and the property of the elderly was supposed to have been paid off, providing the receiving family of the elderly parents with some financial assistance to help take care of mom and dad. Veronica violates every single assumption. Will Social Security be sufficient for her to pay her mortgage, keep up with utilities, and feed her? I certainly do not assume so—but she clearly does. She needs to go to the Social Security Administration office and find out exactly what she will receive, not just assume that everything will be fine. It will break my heart if I find out, years from now after I have left Michigan, that she ended up homeless. Needless to say, she hasn’t purchased a cemetery plot for herself or anything like that. She is prepared for neither death nor life.

Rachel Neumann is wise. She understands the transitoriness of everything. She is also not 21 years old. She has already spent many years with the “man on the bus” that she recently married. She is honest with herself. Compare that with, say, myself. I was clueless in my early twenties, not to mention in a great deal of self-deception. I had no idea what I wanted, needed, or felt. I am only discovering these things now. What I do know is that if I had had even a shred of self-confidence back then, there is zero possibility I would have gotten married back then.

I think many young women (but not as many) today feel their options constrained today for similar reasons. Also, I believe that raging hormones encourage us to make commitments that we have no genuine way of knowing if they are even worth keeping. And then internalized religious/social oppression keeps us in these relationships (again, not as frequently as in the past). When cooler bodies prevail, fewer commitments are made, oddly enough.

Being honest with oneself is tough. Many people never are. I am still struggling to deal with the consequences of choices I made twenty-some years ago. I am in the process of purchasing my own (and Barry’s) grave marker. I am way more prepared for death than for life. Am I alone or in good company? I may never know.