Enjoying Non-Drama

“Express yourself completely,
then keep quiet.
Be like the forces of nature:
when it blows, there is only wind;
when it rains, there is only rain;
when the clouds pass, the sun shines through….

In the practice of the Tao,
every day something is dropped.” Tao Te Ching, Chapters 43 & 48, Stephen Mitchell translation

This is where I am.

I decided years ago that I am going to be honest about my feelings, regardless of how extreme they may be. I want to work through things, not live in denial, like I see so many people doing.

The sun is passing through now. I’ve gone a few days without any new drama and it feels wonderful. Barry does not have a UTI. I am getting things done. Boredom looks like a luxury I took for granted.

One advantage of the chaos I have lived through lately is that I have had no time or energy for relationships and people that do not serve my highest good. Now that things have calmed down, for this minute at least, I am questioning whether I want to restart things with people. I have the energy, but not necessarily the willingness, to continue things. I have no stomach for games, other people’s expectations, etc.  I’m done. Why would I ever want to go back? My vision is getting clarified. I am dropping so much and I finally feel honest. People may or may not like the real me, but that no longer concerns me. Knowing where not to turn in a crisis is a handy piece of knowledge in itself.

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About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

One response to “Enjoying Non-Drama”

  1. Ninasusan says :

    You’ve been at the bottom….as you start growing again, perhaps find yourself in a different garden so u can bloom with different flowers!

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