Body Expressing Mind Perfectly

I have been dealing with a lot of anger for the past six months. And my body is finding its own ways to express its feelings. It is almost funny.

I have had an infection in my right index finger for months. I pick my nails. (I tend to act in, not out.) Once in a while, I get an infection. This infection has morphed repeatedly. It is fascinating. Notice that when something is red and swollen, we say it is “angry.” This is no metaphor. It would be horribly painful, then a little pus would come to the surface and come out. Then it would feel a little better and change shape a tad. It has done this over and over. When I have been the most emotional, it has been the most painful.

But now my life is not in crisis mode; for the first time in months. I am able to relax and deal with the backlog of emotional stuff. Lo and behold, the healing is now occurring faster, The infection is almost gone. It never improved until I stopped being continually traumatized. Nothing I did helped. It was so stubborn. I could not fix it. Life had to become saner first.

I could not make it heal, but I could let go of my expectations of myself being able to handle everything.

I don’t know when the next phase of my life will begin, but I’m going to keep letting go of everything. Someday, I may not care about anything. After all, when you let go of everything, what really matters anymore? I don’t know, but I feel like I am becoming more fluent in my body’s language. It expresses what is within. And when that is dealt with, magically it feels better. Who’d a’thunk it?

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About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

One response to “Body Expressing Mind Perfectly”

  1. Ninasusan says :

    And if your finger is rebelling, think about what is going o. Inside the body that you can’t even see!

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