The Poignancy of Impermanence

There is a Beatles’ song, “You won’t see me”, that makes me want to cry. Here is my favorite tidbit: “I have had enough, so act your age/ We have lost the time that was so hard to find.” Who hasn’t had that experience, of trying to get together and simultaneously dealing with relationship drama?

I am aging and I feel the sting of impermanence every minute.

That is why I hate denial. I have been reading about grief and denial is always listed as the first stage. However, for some, it is a way of life. Barry doesn’t want to know what is going on with his health and so I no longer attempt to communicate with him about anything much. If he wants to be in denial, what’s the harm? The harm is the loss of time to do something meaningful.

Time is your life. No distinction can be made between how you spend your time and how you spend your life.

Denial is only a stage because reality always triumphs. Always.

Time is the currency of finding integrity. I quote A Hidden Wholeness by Parker Palmer (p. 164):

“Courage comes as we understand that no punishment anyone might inflict on us could possibly be worse than the punishment we inflict on ourselves by living a divided life. The divided life ends in the sadness of never having been one’s true self.”

Time is short. Denial is not your friend. Wake up while you can.

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About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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