The Poignancy of Impermanence

There is a Beatles’ song, “You won’t see me”, that makes me want to cry. Here is my favorite tidbit: “I have had enough, so act your age/ We have lost the time that was so hard to find.” Who hasn’t had that experience, of trying to get together and simultaneously dealing with relationship drama?

I am aging and I feel the sting of impermanence every minute.

That is why I hate denial. I have been reading about grief and denial is always listed as the first stage. However, for some, it is a way of life. Barry doesn’t want to know what is going on with his health and so I no longer attempt to communicate with him about anything much. If he wants to be in denial, what’s the harm? The harm is the loss of time to do something meaningful.

Time is your life. No distinction can be made between how you spend your time and how you spend your life.

Denial is only a stage because reality always triumphs. Always.

Time is the currency of finding integrity. I quote A Hidden Wholeness by Parker Palmer (p. 164):

“Courage comes as we understand that no punishment anyone might inflict on us could possibly be worse than the punishment we inflict on ourselves by living a divided life. The divided life ends in the sadness of never having been one’s true self.”

Time is short. Denial is not your friend. Wake up while you can.


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About cdhoagpurple

I have an MBA, am married to a GM/UAW retiree with Huntington's Disease. I am more Buddhist than Christian. I plan on moving to Virginia when widowed. I have a friend''s parents that live down there and another friend living in Maryland. I am simplifying my life in preparation for the eventual move.Eight years ago, my husband had stage 4 cancer. I am truly "neither here nor there." My identity shifts and I am always surprised where I end up. 2015 was my hardest year ever. This is my Dark Night of the Soul. Welcome to it.

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