Wanted: A Cocoon

I’ve been trying to think hard about what I want. This is because I have no idea how much longer Barry will go on (two days or two years, it is impossible for me to know). What I do know is that I am  preparing for the next phase of my life. This isn’t just about right now.

I have to find a place to live. After realizing that WV would be too mountainous and isolated from all my resources, I was faced with a “specialty” toilet that cost $500 to replace and half a week to order and install. Drama, drama, drama. Ugh.

What I really need is a cocoon: someplace quiet, with as few distractions as possible, so I can do some internal transformation and start making the hundred changes that will need to be made for the next phase of my life. I am talking about that mystical combination of stillness and change. It’s hard to do the emotional work while lost in the mountains almost getting run over by coal trucks.

What the trip east did for me was to give me some highly precious solitude. I could organize my time and deal with emotional stuff at my pace, not trying to maintain someone else’s schedule. Being alone felt wonderful. I am hoping to achieve more solitude by not having to take care of a house. I can hope.

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About cdhoagpurple

I have an MBA, am married to a GM/UAW retiree with Huntington's Disease. I am more Buddhist than Christian. I plan on moving to Virginia when widowed. I have a friend''s parents that live down there and another friend living in Maryland. I am simplifying my life in preparation for the eventual move.Eight years ago, my husband had stage 4 cancer. I am truly "neither here nor there." My identity shifts and I am always surprised where I end up. 2015 was my hardest year ever. This is my Dark Night of the Soul. Welcome to it.

One response to “Wanted: A Cocoon”

  1. Ninasusan says :

    Have you tried foot reflexology by a professional the help you with peace when your day just goes to hell?

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