Wanted: A Cocoon
I’ve been trying to think hard about what I want. This is because I have no idea how much longer Barry will go on (two days or two years, it is impossible for me to know). What I do know is that I am preparing for the next phase of my life. This isn’t just about right now.
I have to find a place to live. After realizing that WV would be too mountainous and isolated from all my resources, I was faced with a “specialty” toilet that cost $500 to replace and half a week to order and install. Drama, drama, drama. Ugh.
What I really need is a cocoon: someplace quiet, with as few distractions as possible, so I can do some internal transformation and start making the hundred changes that will need to be made for the next phase of my life. I am talking about that mystical combination of stillness and change. It’s hard to do the emotional work while lost in the mountains almost getting run over by coal trucks.
What the trip east did for me was to give me some highly precious solitude. I could organize my time and deal with emotional stuff at my pace, not trying to maintain someone else’s schedule. Being alone felt wonderful. I am hoping to achieve more solitude by not having to take care of a house. I can hope.