Grief and the Tao

Chapter 48

“In pursuit of knowledge,
every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao,
every day something is dropped.” Stephen Mitchell Translation

Funny how nobody discusses whether or not the “dropping” is voluntary (versus life simply immobilizing your wrist in such a way your fingers release whatever they held).

Simplicity can be voluntary or forced. I am experiencing a little of both right now.

I am getting rid of a lot of stuff because Barry and I will be moving into an apartment shortly. Some of those 100 changes I need to make start now.

I am realizing that the changes will be all on me. Huntington’s is sort of like Alzheimer’s in that the person doing the caretaking bears the brunt of the changes because the person with the disease has such limited awareness of what is going on. Barry really just doesn’t get it anymore.

When changes are involuntary, it is called “loss.” Your status quo is gone.

I have realized that my absolute top priority is my sanity and peace. Nothing else works if those are gone. Stuff can be replaced, if and when I ever desire or have a place for it.


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About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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