Getting Movement

Beware what you hope for. I’ve been feeling stuck for the past few years and incapable of making anything happen whatsoever.

That may be changing. I took Barry to the physician’s assistant (PA) Tuesday. Barry’s behavior was terrible. He kept begging me to leave, but I was going nowhere because I needed to know what’s going on with his health and how to get my needs met for once. It turns out his lungs are fine. The coughing is actually choking, aspiration. Mary, the PA, told me that Barry is a falling risk and a choking risk and had I considered assisted living?

She told me to find out what documentation the insurance company wants for Barry to qualify for respite care and she would provide it. Judy, the office lady, told me that she would get the process started. I gave a copy of the policy to Judy. The next day, she said she encountered the same wall of unhelpfulness in the insurance company that I had when I got rejected in 2015. Perhaps he didn’t qualify for respite care two years ago (and that is debatable), but now he certainly does. If they deny another claim, it will be time to contact an UAW attorney. Seriously. Does he need to be half-dead before I can get help? The frightening reality is that it is highly unlikely that we will ever use as much money in benefits as I have already paid in premiums for the past 16 years. This is no joke. Judy’s exact words were, “We’ll get something going.”

I am excited that my needs may be getting met soon because they haven’t been for years. Of course, this is happening because Barry has reached a very sad state physically. I saw this coming, but it still sucks. I am excited and depressed all at once. I feel validated and sad.

About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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