Are Clarity and Choice Compatible?

I wanted clarity. I believe I have it now. The problem? It seems to come at the expense of freedom.

I know what I need to do with my time and energy: get help from the insurance company (even if it means going to court) and get Barry a meeting with his grandsons. I’m not saying I am doing everything right, just that I know what I should be doing.

Do slaves have clarity? They know they have two goals: freedom and doing what their captors demand. They know what to do, when to do it, where to do it, and for how long (till they pass out or die, I assume). Compare that to going to store for a can of beans. Butter beans? Beans and franks? Lima beans? Kidney beans? Three-bean salad? What brand? What size? Does freedom equal confusion?

I feel like I am backed into a corner, like a caged animal. The insurance company will either set me free or will be endlessly attacked by me until they relent. They will not come out unscathed.

Is this the clarity I so prayed for? Really?


About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

One response to “Are Clarity and Choice Compatible?”

  1. Ninasusan says :

    I wish I could share with you what I think….but I don’t know…I think this is a go with your gut

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