Victory and the Next Phase
I kept calling the insurance company. Last Thursday, I called and actually talked to the Care Manager. I asked about the status of the claim. She told me that Dr. Thompson’s office still had not returned the information. I informed her that that was false. I knew for a fact that they had and had even attempted to get verification of what had been faxed to the insurance company and were told that receipt of the fax could not be guaranteed for 24-72 hours. Do not lie to me! Again! OMG. I told her to look again. She said that it did look like they had returned the information (Gee. Ya think?) and she was unsure of why eligibility had not been determined. I said that she didn’t seem to have much relevant information for me. I exasperated her to the point where she gave me the phone number to the claim department. Now we are getting somewhere. I called them and left a message.
I called the claim department yesterday and was told that Barry was determined to be eligible and that we should have gotten a call from the Care Manager informing us of that. I said that we had not received any such call and that I had been calling and inquiring for weeks. The claims person said that there was no such record of me calling repeatedly. I informed her that their records were inadequate. She said that a letter was sent out on Thursday the 23rd.
Today I got the call from the Care Manager saying Barry had been approved and got some instruction on what I will need to do to get the ball rolling. Yea.
I feel like I am at the Oscars, receiving a trophy, and realizing that I have received zero support and assistance. I would like to thank me, myself, and I. I did this. Alone. Unless you count the spiritual assistance I (literally) conjured up to bind the insurance company. I have thanked them. I believe in giving credit where credit is due and in not giving credit where it is not due. I believe it was my calling repeatedly and asking for information from the insurance company and the lawyer calling them and me going to the doctors’ office and calling them repeatedly that have achieved this. They did not do this out of the goodness of their cold, little, shriveled hearts.
The idea that the rest of my life is going to be like this is exhausting. Everyone has always given me the impression that life has its own momentum. I have absolutely never found that to be the case. Bad stuff happens spontaneously. Good stuff requires a ridiculous amount of discipline and perseverance to achieve. Nothing good occurs without me making some huge sacrifice of time, energy, and/or money. The cost is often so high that I seriously question whether the sacrifices are worth it. I have had many Pyrrhic victories. Good things happen because I take full 100% responsibility and make them happen. The only exception to this I can think of is when my parents gave me their car. I will be eternally grateful for that.
Anyhow, before I receive any assistance form the insurance company, I have to use 20 days of services before they pay for the 21st and onward. Because I saw a potential legal hassle in front of me, I have been putting off paying for assistance and getting a new routine going. So I have an appointment for an in-home visit scheduled to have the potential provider do an evaluation. One thing at a time.
Barry is not going to like the next phase of things. But it’s not as if I thought he would. Part of me is still disbelieving my own self. After all, I still have yet to receive the letter of eligibility. But he is about to start getting baby-sat. Once I get a schedule going, I can maybe get a weenie part-time job and start looking at beginning (not “re-starting”) a career.
Everything will still revolve around Barry, but not as much as for the past five years. This is the bare-bones beginning of me being able to work. To me, holding down a job is a major commitment and I won’t make a commitment I can’t keep, if I can at all help it. I want to be a real employee, even if not much of one.
On to the next phase.