Crawling Back Up

I’ve had a cold for the past week.  I am starting to feel a little better.

What happened was that one of Barry’s AA friends said she would take him to his Sunday meeting for the next couple months until they moved up north. Then she reneged. I had gotten my hopes up, told my friends I was getting more help with Barry, and looked forward to having the apartment to myself (however briefly). Then she wrote a letter, saying it was God’s sense of humor. People wonder why I’m not a Christian anymore. She doesn’t want to know what I think of her god.

Anyhow, my body can’t tolerate the up-and-down cycles of disappointment/hope.

On the upside, my shrink is looking for the name of some agency that helps place people like myself in jobs. That would be super cool. I just don’t want to get my hopes up again.

I’m getting Barry used to other people taking care of him. It’s all coming out of pocket for the first twenty days of service. The insurance company does everything within its power to make using their policy just not worth your time. It’s like having a $2000 deductible.

Once I get into the new swing of things, I will know what my availability for work will be. I’m sure someone will want my skills.

For now, I’m drinking lots of fluids and taking plenty of vitamin C.

About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

One response to “Crawling Back Up”

  1. Ninasusan says :

    I used to be frequently ill when I had a lot of stress. One certainly doesn’t help,the other.

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