Relaxing Too Much?

I have a pattern. Stress, stress, stress, relief, immune collapse. I did it for years at school. Ten minutes after a final was over, instant cold.

I have been so happy about looking for a job and having real possibilities that I totally relaxed, and got a cold a couple days ago. It is just a head cold. So my nose is stuffed up. Clogged sinuses are giving me a chronic, low-grade headache. Ugh,

This is a “summer cold” because it is 90 degrees, day after day. Tell me there’s no global warning. Ha! Denial of climate change is no different than denial of alcoholism or drug addiction. The question is always the same: Just how bad do things need to get to have some acknowledgment that the problem is real? How many hurricanes in one year will it take to wake up some people? Ninety-four degrees in Michigan at the end of September? Are you freaking kidding me? The normal is just barely hitting seventy.

What’s truly weird is how the leaves are changing. It looks like October and feels like July. It’s just wrong.

Honestly, I feel more optimistic than I have in years. Because I really have to work, there’s less guilt. Few people would have a problem with me working after having put my life on hold for Barry for so many years. And I wouldn’t care about their opinions at this point, anyway. I have granted myself a great deal of freedom because I realized no one else was going to. I am reducing my internal chaos levels and ending my need for everyone’s approval is the ultimate in de-cluttering.

About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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