Digging Deeper for Transformation
I have been working hard at meditation and Microsoft Office. I have been chanting and working at letting go of thoughts. And I have been doing practice modules. Whenever I screw those up, I learn a ton when I fix them.
I am not in charge of anything. But the plan is keeping up my skills and finding a different place to volunteer. I will keep investing in myself. I am the only one I have any control over.
One good thing has happened. There is this woman my age that also goes to the blessing on Thursdays. A couple weeks ago, she kept interrupting and invalidating what another person was saying. In the past she had repeatedly invalidated things I had said after the blessing and no one had confronted her about anything, ever. Well, this time they did. The leader actually spoke to her about how important it is to not interrupt people and to not invalidate people. So she decided not to come back! I am so happy! She told the leader she could not guarantee that she would not do the same thing again.
I am so relieved. I feel like a problem in my life has been solved without me having to take absolute, full, 100% responsibility for it myself. Even if she does come back, it is with the understanding that her behavior was unacceptable. I stayed out of it and am reaping a great reward for doing so.
Perhaps it is pure cowardice on my part, but survival for me has always involved keeping my head down and not making various situations all about me. That’s what the interrupter doesn’t understand: She’s not “correcting” people’s wrong ideas and fixing them. She is only drawing attention to her own disrespectful behavior. If people say stupid things, let the stupidity stand. What others say reflects only on them. But the minute you interrupt someone, you draw the attention to your own poor behavior.
With the political chaos and people losing their health care everywhere, it is hard to maintain equilibrium. The conclusion I have reached is that the best thing I can do for the world is to not go crazy myself and to encourage sanity in others by trying to be a good example.