Learning to Focus

I am learning to be very particular about what I want to think about. It is just too easy to get depressed. I can’t go there anymore because “there” has nothing for me. I know what it’s like to not want to live. I know what it’s like to not be able to find a job. I know what it’s like to need help, be promised help, and then receive none. I don’t need to relearn those lessons.

Given the unbelievable slowness of time lately, I have had to be specific about what I want. It is too easy to “go with the flow” and not be deliberate about what I think about.

I think of today as yesterday’s creation. My goal is to do a lot less observing and a lot more imagining.

What I really want is to get on board the wave of change. Change is the only thing one can count on and I want to use it to my benefit.

What other people think is not the point. I reached that point a couple years ago. If they aren’t going to help, they don’t get a vote! Their opinions are worthless.

I am going to think new thoughts.

About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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