I wanted movement.

Lots of things are happening now.

This week will be crazy. I am volunteering Mondays and Thursdays for the American Cancer Society. This Wednesday will be my last time at the Women’s Center, although they said I have cat-petting privileges anytime. If I need to pet a cat, I can always go there and pet Taser and Luna.

Also this week, I do tutoring on Monday and Wednesday. I saw my student last week. She knows nothing about Excel and has two projects to do. We worked on one, looking at the policy differences of various unions she deals with. I showed her what she wanted and then showed her a much easier-to-print way to do it in Word. So she decided to do it in Word, seeing as there are no actual calculations in this project that would make Excel a better choice. I don’t see my job as being an “Excel Tutor” but rather as a “Solution Finder.” She said she knew of others that need help with Excel, so this could grow into something.

And there are miscellaneous things this week. Such as getting my hair cut Monday night. I haven’t had a trim in probably eight months and I’d rather give the business to a friend than pay a stranger. In addition, I am making peanut butter balls with my former Protestant minister’s wife. They are such good people that they give Christians a good name and there aren’t a lot of such folks left in this world. We’ve been doing this for probably twenty years. She’s been having some health problems and memory issues, so I am unsure how many more years we will be doing this.

Of course, Christmas is coming up. I just mailed cards with money orders to Barry’s grandsons in Algonac. I made him do the writing in the cards but I did the envelopes because it is important that the postal service find them legible. And we just mailed a card to his daughter up in Clare county, with our address sticker on the envelope.

Why is that significant? Because nobody, and I do mean nobody, in his family has our address. We moved a little over a year ago and left no forwarding address–on purpose. His sisters pretended to offer help and then when I tried to get actual assistance, the response was, “Now is not a good time.” Seriously? Is it ever a good time to be in a crisis and need help? So I basically told them to go screw themselves and not to contact us further. And so far, so good. The only time I ask any of them for anything (or ever will) and the answer is no. And I was asking for very little. Really? Gee, I am so sorry I inconvenienced you.

Back to Bailey, his daughter. I called her ex’s mom (the grandsons’ grandmother) and it turned out that Bailey wanted our phone number so a friend could contact us. Reality check: we know none of her friends. Never have. In other words, she wants money. Why doesn’t she have our phone number? Barry has been calling her every other Friday since she turned 18. He only gets her machine, but that’s not the point. She doesn’t have caller ID? Before we switched to Verizon probably five years ago, we still had a land line with the exact same number! An old phone book would do the trick.

Anyhow, Jeff’s mom said she wants she and her husband to come with Jeff and the boys to Lansing. I said we would take them to Smokey Bones and the boys could buy what they wanted at Dick’s, which is just across the parking lot. At this point, every event with Barry has to be treated like possibly the last one ever.

I told Barry about all of this and at first told him his daughter was not welcome. He says, “Why not?” I reminded him that she threw a fit when she found out we saw the boys this past February and referred to Barry as “that child molester.” Funny how no one can even imagine Barry doing anything remotely inappropriate and he said, “I can’t even molest myself.” Such a guy thing to say. I said I might call 911 if she shows up because I don’t want her anywhere near us.

But then I reconsidered and told him he could see her if I’m not there because I can’t guarantee what I would do if I saw her. We haven’t seen her since Christmas  of 2014. That is a marriage and a divorce ago. I have always had the policy of not interfering with Barry and Bailey seeing each other. Until I heard about her throwing a hissy fit when Jeff brought the boys for a visit and referring to her dad as a child molester. That’s why giving her our address is such a big deal.

Then it struck me like a ton of bricks. Maybe she wants her inheritance now. Barry wants her to have $2500 when he dies and it sounds like she is totally broke up north. I don’t care when she gets it. If that’s what she wants, we can arrange that. I can stick it into an account somewhere and let her know about it when she wants it.

Is this the closure Barry has been waiting for? Is this what he is living for?

Either absolutely nothing is changing or more is happening than I can keep track of. But a lot of movement beats being stuck any day.

About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

One response to “I wanted movement.”

  1. Ninasusan says :

    Wow. Lots of movement. Lots of little signals passing in the night. I don’t blame you about his daughter. Typical do what you have to do to get what you want. For her money which she has no idea will not last and you…pay her off so she isn’t taking any more of your energy???

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