Eye of the Hurricane

Chaos is swirling about me. It will be interesting to see where the debris lands when all is said and done.

First, there is work. A couple weeks ago, I saw an email not meant for my eyes where the boss lady said I was “wasting my time on her dime.” She is a young mother so I am trying to cut her some slack, but I lost all respect for her because I have always tried to be efficient, helpful, and reliable, which is so much more than they deserve. So I am looking for an additional job. I have an interview at Biggby (the local coffee chain). Barry and I lived at Biggby for years and at this one in particular. The interview is on Thursday.

In the mean time…..I may have jury duty. I had it this morning. I could also have it Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. I am legally obligated to call in. It simply could not be more disruptive.

Which makes me wonder what the heck is going on. I have a pattern. I always follow a routine and the only thing that stops me from following my routine is when someone or something interrupts or cancels or whatever. Then, invariably, something happens that would have made it so I would have had to cancel on them anyhow. For whatever reason, it is suddenly important that I not do the usual. But I only get to see the reason in hindsight. Why am I not supposed to be in the office these mornings? Perhaps in a few weeks I will know.

The image I got last night was of me being in the eye of the hurricane. In the eye, it is calm and even sunny. While the winds batter all around. “Not my monkey, not my circus,” as my friend would say. I am not taking responsibility for everyone else’s chaos. I’m just taking care of myself. I am refusing the role of victim. It feels good.

About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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