Needing a Whole New Way of Being
I’ve realized that I need more than ordinary assistance. I need a new way of approaching everything.
I need to find a way of avoiding being chronically overwhelmed. Being overwhelmed creates a slew of problems. I mentioned last post that I lost my apartment keys. I forgot to mention that I managed to lose my gym bag. How in hell did I do that? I contacted the gym and told them about it (beige with cats all over it). I should still probably go there to see if someone didn’t just shove it into a locker after it sat around all day.
Other issues from being overwhelmed include physical and emotional. Physically, I don’t want to make myself vulnerable to all sorts of illness ending in “-itis” (swelling or inflammation of _______). Emotionally, I basically lost it the other day being paranoid about a problem at work. I was right on the edge to begin with and that just pushed me right over the edge.
Today is thanksgiving for normal people. I am actually going to two different celebrations. However, for me, it is the thirtieth anniversary with Barry. We were married 11/22/88. We were married for 29 years. Yet it still feels good to go somewhere, anywhere, so I am not alone all day. It sounds crazy, but I am actually glad I work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
Another hazard of being overwhelmed is projecting my emotional crap onto others because I do not have the mental space to discern the difference between my stuff and other people’s. Hard not to do.
What am I going to do today? Breathe a lot and prepare for Black Friday.