I have been watching videos by Dr. Les Carter. OMG. They are so good. Or maybe they just speak to exactly where I am at.
I have always felt like a victim of my dad. I watched him push, push, push, his father to the point where Grandpa would get angry and flustered. I remember wondering, “Why is Dad so mean to Grandpa?” Even as a pre-teen, my dad’s behavior confused me. Now I am 52 years old and he does it to me. And I am DONE.
The video I just watched was all about the predictable things narcissists do and how they are addicted to control. This I can relate to. I have watched my alcoholic brothers ruin their own lives. I have seen the Jellineck charts that show all of the extraordinarily predictable stages of addiction. If you know that A leads to B, which leads to C, which leads to D… and you see B, you do not need supernatural powers to know that C is coming next. The timing may vary, but the timing is the only thing that varies.
Not only is there no need for me to be a victim and simply accept how he treats me, but I also now have the ability to predict the dysfunctional crap he will throw at me. The mystery is gone.
I am going to get political now. This stuff is so relevant for today. People throw around the term “narcissist” very easily and say Trump is a narcissist. This is not “pathologizing” the President. The description is accurate. Trump is a full-on narcissist. He suffers from what Alcoholics Anonymous refers to as “terminal uniqueness.” Only he can solve the problem (that he himself created and takes zero responsibility for). Only he is the “chosen one.” When completely at fault, his strategy is to blame, blame,and blame some more. Once you understand what you are dealing with, you can actually predict what he will do next. That is the narcissist’s blind spot. They delusionally believe they are unique while the reality is that everyone has their number. Everyone. The code he speaks in, everyone already has the accurate translation of, with the possible exception of his more ardent followers.
More dots connected…