Contradictory Impulses?

I have been trying to be kinder to myself lately. Now that Barry is gone, I can actually focus on myself. This is partly at the urging of my psychoanalyst.

So I am trying to be true to myself, without really knowing what that means.

But, at the same time, I feel a need to somehow integrate ethics into my life. What are ethics? They come from a sense of right and wrong, not exactly popular concepts these days. They are a means of trying to help all people be and feel respected. The rules apply to everyone equally.

Buddhist ethics seem to be all about not harming. I like the idea. I don’t think I could be vegetarian, but celibacy would be doable.

But what I am thinking of is more along the lines of accountability. When someone’s behavior is wildly out of line, what recourse is there? I encounter people who think that they can do whatever they want and nobody has the right to respond in any way, shape, or form. I find the expectation delusional at best. We all have the right to hold each other accountable. To think otherwise is Trump-ian and narcissistic to the max.

Everything seems to come down to power and control. But demographics have changed. The days of old white guys deciding what is real for the rest of us are long gone.  Until our society settles on a commonly-held set of standards for behavior that works for a whole lot more people, everyone, everywhere will have to define their terms carefully and try very hard to be nice to others, unless and until they do something blatantly disrespectful.

Is there a better way of doing things?

About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

One response to “Contradictory Impulses?”

  1. Ninasusan says :

    I have similar thoughts…I don’t think we are completely through the old white guy control but we are making headway…and isn’t it interesting that we may now have a new word for the century which means, vile, disgusted, dirty, abhorrent….Trump-Ian

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