I find myself more determined than ever to meditate. Slowing down. Listening to myself, the cosmos, changing my brainwaves. I feel like everything I want and need is within, if I can find it. What do I want? How do I want to do it? I believe it must all come from within.
Everything external keeps changing. One of my favorite bosses just quit. It breaks my heart. She was my champion. I feel like everything is is slippery. Try to hold on to it and it squeezes out of your hand. I can see why people try to hold on to things (hoarders) but the effort is futile.
I saw a cat Christmas day, Shyla. I pet her and gave her treats. I am trying to be a blessing to her owner, my friend Lynn. Live feline dufuses are all good.
I am coming up on two years without Barry. OMG. I still miss him so much it makes me ache. The love is for the man who m I spent so many good years with, not the one who passed away in my living room. It was a horrible way to go. The cold is a trigger because it was all of five degrees the day he died. My recommendation is that people who know they have the Huntington gene not reproduce and take that chance. The word “suffering” is insufficient.
And here I am trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I can think more clearly now because, when he first died, I spent a long time just numb. Now I am not numb, but dealing honestly with my issues.
No matter what is happening, wonderful or awful, it is temporary. Just remember that.