Looking at Synchronicity
I feel like things have sped up lately.
Of course, holidays make everything a little crazy without any other additional input.
But then this year started and I felt like the world was spinning out of control to some degree. Trump gets us into war with Iran. WTF? I am not a Trump fan, but the one thing I liked about him was his pledge to get us out of these endless middle-eastern conflicts. I am old enough to remember my parents thinking that Carter was simply incompetent foreign-affairs-wise because of the whole hostage crisis. This is the best guarantee I can think of that Trump will be a one-term President. Once we get into a conflict somewhere, we never leave. Seriously. We are still in Germany, to this day. No kidding.
And I am feeling some urgency to get out of Michigan again. Why? I don’t know. I have a lease that does not expire until November and a job I am greatly appreciated at.
I have always been interested in intuition, the paranormal, and other subjects that I have not always seen as related. But now I know they are. I am currently reading Jean Shinoda Bolen’s The Tao of Psychology: Synchronicity and the Self. After her book, The Ring of Power, which I found profoundly illuminating in reference to my narcissistic father and my relationship to him, I wanted to get more of her insights. She is Jungian. I realized that my relationship was truly archetypal, with him being Wotan and me being Brunnhilde. Every recurring situation in life is archetypal. Our responses can be conscious or sub-conscious. I am unwilling to just bumble my way through life anymore. Here is a quote from page 18: “Jung maintained that the collective unconscious or the archetypal layer of the unconscious (two terms for the same phenomenon) was involved in synchronistic events….’There are as many archetypes as there are typical situations in life. Endless repetition has engraved these experiences into our psychic constitution.'” Bolen is quoting Jung, of course. Page 23: “Tao and Self can be considered one and the same, both giving meaning and both beyond definition.” Tao is about our holistic right-brained perspective, as distinct from our dissecting left-brain.
A few days ago, my dad called. I had not spoken to him since probably July for more than a few seconds at a time. He called for more than an hour. OMG. What was happening? My brother Bob is looking for property in Florida and now he has blood cancer from the weird JAK 2 mutation. In addition to COPD, heart disease, and cirrhosis. My friend on the east coast said she thinks he was looking for some reassurance from me. I am so not the person he should be seeking that from. He calls me “my favorite daughter” which I am not completely comfortable with. He has no other children. It just gives me the creeps, for whatever reason. It feels like I am playing a game that I tired of a long time ago. My brother Mike passed away this past summer. My dad raised my brothers from my mom’s first marriage and myself. Now it probably feels like he has lost one kid and another one is on his way out. When I told my friend I might tell Dad not to call me that anymore, she implored me not to, saying it would devastate him. I feel for him, and yet, I am tired of other people’s feelings mattering while mine…not so much. It just gets very old.
(And the weather sucks, of course. This is Michigan. We got a ton of rain yesterday and then we got a good inch of sleet. It could have been worse: freezing rain. In some ways, we got “lucky.” It was nasty. The roads are still not great.)
So now I feel like I am getting closer to being the last sibling standing. Things seem to be speeding up. And I have my ear to the ground for odd coincidences.