Thinking About Suffering

With everything and everyone at a standstill, I have all the time in the world to think about my feelings and those of everyone else. I have been trying to use this time to allow repressed feelings to arise so I can feel and deal with them as much as possible before going back to work.

I have heard that alcohol sales are way up. I believe it because when I go to Meijer, the person in front of me will have a case of beer and the the person behind me will have a couple boxes of wine.  I think about my oldest brother that I have always considered to be an alcoholic. What always kept him at least semi-functional was the fact that he always had a family to to support. His youngest now goes to MSU. There are no kids living at home and I cannot imagine him without a beer in his hand. I hope he is not being too much of an ass to his wife. There are probably no DUIs being issued anywhere, not because people aren’t drinking, but because they aren’t driving.

What I wonder about is all the people you don’t see. Think about your relatives and neighbors that you have never been close to. We have all been told to not contact our doctors unless we have these very specific symptoms of coronavirus. All elective procedures have been postponed. But something that started out elective may become an emergency. Not everything can be postponed indefinitely. How many people are dying at home, with or without the virus, that we won’t know about until the restrictions are lifted or their corpses start to stink?

How many people are going to be ready to hit the ground running when the economy re-opens? Not everyone will be fully functioning at this rate.

People are suffering, but some of it is self-induced.

But better than suffering alleviation is suffering prevention. This is where morality and self-control come into play.

Perhaps it is okay if the economy opens back up. It would be fast-forward, evolutionarily-speaking. I just hate the idea of unnecessary bullshit suffering. What I want is a serology test to see if I have antibodies to the virus. I think that is the key to getting everything re-started.

I just don’t know how to make anything better whatsoever.

About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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