Just Looking at Today

I’ve been trying to have long-term vision. It is not working.

I am looking for a place on the west end of town. I am emailing apartment complexes. That kind of thing.

I want to have a vision for my life. I believe that the people that will fare the best will be the ones that have that vision. But I can’t force it.

I have been reading “Crushing” by T.D. Jakes. He’s a brilliant writer. Most Christian authors are not impressive. I write better than most of them and I know it. But Jakes is phenomenal. The book is about making wine. To a grape that wants to be Welch’s juice, becoming wine is simply a catastrophe. People stepping on you. Then being bottled up for years, possibly decades. But I haven’t gotten to the part where you find out how to stay bottled up for an indeterminate period without going nuts.

We are all bottled up, quarantined, right now, and perhaps for at least another six months. How do we not lose our minds? And the coronavirus is becoming real even to my family. There was going to be a Labor Day gathering at my brother’s house, but his son is self-quarantining because he was exposed to someone who tested positive for the virus. You see, all this coronavirus talk is just a left-wing conspiracy–until someone in your family is exposed.

The problem is that, in the meantime, we still have to make those ordinary decisions: where to live, what to eat for dinner, etc. How do you act normally when nothing is stable?

About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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