Archive | November 2020

Vaccine Questions

I want a coronavirus vaccine. I really do, but……

I don’t know enough about Emergency Use Authorization (EUA) to trust it. To me, it sounds like basic safety protocols have been skipped to get it on the market. I would feel a lot better about taking a vaccine after a few million other Americans have taken it. I am not volunteering to be a guinea pig. What are the side effects?

Think about polio. There are people in Africa today that are contracting polio. We have had a vaccine since the 1950s. But you can’t get a vaccine for a disease you already have.

My point? Wouldn’t you have to get a negative coronavirus test before getting vaccinated? I have not been tested yet and it is almost December. My understanding is that the coronavirus is in every nook and cranny of this country, including exceptionally rural states like the Dakotas. Testing is still not great. How are people going to get the vaccine when they haven’t been tested? How about all those false negative tests (tests that wrongly show a person to not have the virus)?

I believe in vaccinations. I believe that parents who do not vaccinate their children forfeit the right to a public education for their children. If you don’t vaccinate your kid, you will have to homeschool. Period. No putting other kids at risk. I am not against vaccinations that are proven effective and have gone through the proper safety protocols. I need to be convinced that EUA does not eliminate the necessary safety protocols before I will begin to contemplate taking a coronavirus vaccine. No debate.

Out the Other Side

I feel so much better now.

Warning: Do not get the flu shot and a shingles shot all at once. I did it last week and felt like crap the next day and just plain wiped out the next couple days. Friday night I took a shot of NyQuil because I felt so achy and just wanted to sleep. When I do that, I get so much sleep sometimes that I have a hard time sleeping Saturday night. Not last night. I went to bed early and woke up close to my normal time. I feel fabulous. Wow. It has been a long time since I have felt this good physically and emotionally.

Whenever I feel stuck, I ask myself what I am holding onto that is not moving. Zen has a saying; “Let go or be dragged.” The basic concept is that everything is moving and you need to be careful what moving object you hitch your wagon to. Sometimes, stillness is essential, but that means you need to let go of everything.

What have I been holding onto? My parents. They are now in Florida, a state with more coronavirus cases than New York. I just lost my husband a couple years ago. I don’t want this much loss. Who does? But they are adults and if they want to play shuffleboard more than they want to preserve their lives, that is not my call to make. I feel like I let them go this weekend. This is not an intellectual process. It is emotional and spiritual. In other words, I am not in charge of the timing. But I suddenly feel freer.

There is precious little I am in control of, but I can take care of myself. I can rest. I can drink lots of water and take vitamins.

All we can do is take care of ourselves. It’s like the emergency instructions you’re given on the plane: Put your own mask on first.

So So Glad to Be Wrong

I can’t believe Biden won! I am so happy and relieved!

Let Trump fight the Constitution and the will of the voters (who gave Biden a bigger popular vote victory than Hillary).

I hate the extremes. I hate both the right-wing, misogynistic, white nationalists equally with the “defund the police” people that want to put my safety at risk. I am hoping our divided congress can keep each other in check. I need the “lock them up and throw away the key” people to counterbalance the “set them all free and give them voting rights” people.

It will be good to have civility and decency in the White House again. A non-narcissistic President not obsessed with tweeting. A normal human with actual empathy. What a concept.

Trump is not done throwing fits, but Biden’s victory is far more legitimate than Trump’s ever was, with Biden winning the popular vote and the Electoral College.

I can just see some crazy right-winger shooting President Biden. Welcome President Harris! I would love that. That would be so very awesome.

Drowning in Grief

I don’t usually have emotional breakdowns like this, but everything hit at once.

I am seeing my parents tomorrow before they go to Florida.

I thought about not seeing them because I am in so much pain from the election, but my shrink pointed out that if I chose not to see them and then they did not return from Florida, I would regret it forever. She is so right and compassionate. I love her, but it’s annoying when she is so right.

This sounds horrible and racist, but, to some degree, I blame the blacks in Minneapolis who torched the police precinct for Trump’s victory. I said back then that they gave him the victory. I was correct. Whenever one side goes over the edge, the other side looks mainstream. Now the racist, homicidal idiots look like defenders of “law and order.” The racists have been proven right in the eyes of the voters. Blacks truly are incapable of self-governance. Why must blacks so consistently prove their white defenders (such as myself) to be imbeciles? I feel so stupid. Nothing quite like having your blatantly racist parents proven to be spot-on.

I am in grief for the Constitution, our democracy, and everything good and decent that died tonight. I am sure the world is mourning right now. We will never regain our stature as a defender of freedom. We are no different than those European nations with strongmen at the helm. No virtue, just the ever-present threat of force.

Worse than Trump is the coronavirus. Will my parents come back? Perhaps, but I’m not counting on it.