Drowning in Grief

I don’t usually have emotional breakdowns like this, but everything hit at once.

I am seeing my parents tomorrow before they go to Florida.

I thought about not seeing them because I am in so much pain from the election, but my shrink pointed out that if I chose not to see them and then they did not return from Florida, I would regret it forever. She is so right and compassionate. I love her, but it’s annoying when she is so right.

This sounds horrible and racist, but, to some degree, I blame the blacks in Minneapolis who torched the police precinct for Trump’s victory. I said back then that they gave him the victory. I was correct. Whenever one side goes over the edge, the other side looks mainstream. Now the racist, homicidal idiots look like defenders of “law and order.” The racists have been proven right in the eyes of the voters. Blacks truly are incapable of self-governance. Why must blacks so consistently prove their white defenders (such as myself) to be imbeciles? I feel so stupid. Nothing quite like having your blatantly racist parents proven to be spot-on.

I am in grief for the Constitution, our democracy, and everything good and decent that died tonight. I am sure the world is mourning right now. We will never regain our stature as a defender of freedom. We are no different than those European nations with strongmen at the helm. No virtue, just the ever-present threat of force.

Worse than Trump is the coronavirus. Will my parents come back? Perhaps, but I’m not counting on it.

About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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