Responsive Energy Universe

I’ve had a bizarre day. And that is an understatement.

I got sent home from work and they might fire me, but they didn’t do so today. It’s the whole favoritism thing. They claimed to do an investigation and found that the lazy employee did not have a problem. I spoke out and got accused of “creating a hostile work environment.” But they didn’t have the balls to fire me. They know they are in the wrong. They are carefully contemplating their options. I do not care what they choose because I am quitting anyhow. They told me they would call me before I could come back.

I think it was Sunday night that I applied for a job at Burlington, where another Goodwill employee found better employment. I felt like I had to. At 1:00 am. After today’s fiasco at work, I moved up my interview time from a couple weeks from now to Wednesday (tomorrow).

One of my shame-based sticking points has been my inability to call my alma mater, Davenport University, to find out the name of the website that teaches Microsoft Office skills for free. I had been too ashamed to call them. This afternoon I called them. While the librarian was on the phone looking up possible websites, someone left a voicemail. I assumed it was work telling me not to come back. No. It was Burlington wanting to do the interview a day early, as in today! This happened while on the phone doing the thing I haven’t been able to do in four years!

I’m not saying I got the job. Apparently there are multiple openings and she needed to finish her other calls, but she seemed enthusiastic and impressed.

But still. How weird is it that they call while I am doing the very thing I haven’t been able to face in almost half a decade? I have thought for years that I would know I was making good progress with the crippling shame when I could call DU. Burlington was not expected to call today at all!

I am stunned.

Work is trying to humiliate me by basically sending me to a time-out chair while they sort out what they want to do. Treating me like a 4-year-old is not a great way of restoring my respect for management. Given that this is a minimum wage job, literally everywhere else pays more. Also, I have gotten contact information from some of my co-workers so I can use them as references. They respect me and how hard I work. When I am no longer there, and someone they respect has clearly been pushed out by management, their respect for management is not exactly going to increase. The dominoes have only begun to fall. The karma management is creating right now is not pretty. They don’t want to lose me as a worker because I am one of the few people left that seriously works hard. But they coddle the poor workers. This is all on them.

I feel good about how I have handled everything. I have been very deliberate in trying to do things in a way that I could feel good about in six months. I truly believe that I am now too healthy to work there.

I am simply flabbergasted that Burlington called while I was on the phone with DU. Energy shifted somehow. Instantaneously. I do not understand any of it.

About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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