Four Dictates

“I follow four dictates: face it, accept it, deal with it, then let it go.” ~Sheng Yen

“Let go or be dragged.” ― Zen Proverb

It sounds like a recipe for maturity: don’t pretend things are different than they are, intentionally decide what you can do in response, do it consciously, and release the result.

I’ve been the person getting dragged, haven’t you? If you don’t let it go, whatever it is, it remains in control of you and your future.

I have brothers that have not always been good, law-abiding citizens. One of the first decisions I made as an adult was that, wherever I lived, no criminal activity would occur in my residence or transportation. I still have not had my brothers over. Wherever they go, they feel they have the right to drink or do drugs. Not in my place. Take your beer and pot elsewhere because they are not welcome here. My husband is in AA and we don’t need it around.

If I was still in denial, like many of my family members still are, I would be holding on to the hope they would quit or the idea that things aren’t really that bad. I doubt I would have my education because education is a huge threat to denial.

Sometimes, people hold onto their illusions and, if you want a relationship with them, you are expected to share those illusions. If you let go of the illusion, the relationship is gone as well or extremely strained at the very least. I am no longer willing to be dragged around by other people’s illusions.

I am at a point in my life where I want to complete transactions. I don’t want anything lingering around me, unfinished. I want my dealings to be clean.

Tags: ,

About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: