Trying to be Good

I had the surgery. And now I am trying not to aggravate the stitches, but it’s hard because I now have more functionality than I did during the month I wrongly assumed I had only sprained my wrist. It is exceptionally hard not to use my dominant hand.

I want to relate something really weird. I was given a nerve-blocker before surgery. They had to ultrasound me to properly find the nerve going all the way down my right arm. I went to bed Monday night with no feeling in my right arm whatsoever. It was like having 30 pounds of dead weight hanging off my right shoulder. I had no control over it. But it felt like I did. My brain was still sending out signals to my hand. Those signals, however, did not go that far down.. It was like having a “phantom” hand. I could totally feel this imaginary hand–and it was not in the position of my real right hand! I could even flex my imaginary fingers and watch my real hand do nothing. So I was lying in bed with three hands: left, real right, and imaginary right. It felt like I was not keeping my hand elevated, but my left hand was clasping my right hand, my warm and useless right hand. And then I would look over and see my right hand had flopped somewhere and I would place it where I wanted it with my left hand. A couple of times I even slapped myself in the face accidentally! Think about childhood bullies hitting you in the face with your own fist. Twisted.

By the end of Tuesday, I watched the feeling come back over my entire right hand: first the thumb and index finger, gradually going all the way across until my pinkie finally regained full feeling.

I cannot go back to work until the surgeon’s office faxes the FMLA paperwork to HR in Battle Creek. That probably will not be until after I see him for the follow-up on Thursday. So I am likely looking at another week off. I should be happy and excited, but I need to be good and not re-injure my hand. This is my chance to get my act together, but I need to take care of myself. I don’t have a lot of experience doing that.