Ready to Fight

The long-term care insurance people are going to schedule an “evaluation” for Barry. In other words, they are going to look for an excuse to deny us benefits—again. I am already in the process of contacting an attorney. I can provide whatever paperwork is necessary to show that Barry is falling hazard and a choking hazard.  I will remind the insurers that if they deny us and Barry falls or chokes while I am running errands, I am pretty sure they can be held liable to some extent. And let’s go for pain and suffering to boot. And if he falls, he will then qualify for a nursing home, which is way more expensive than the respite care I am currently seeking.

I don’t want to put Barry away. To me, a nursing home is Z and I want to do A through Y first. Let’s just start with them giving me the respite care I need and that I have been paying premiums sixteen years for. How about they actually do their job? This time in my life is exactly why I bought the insurance for. When the physician’s assistant asked me if I had considered assisted living for Barry, I was stopped dead in my tracks. All I want right now is a babysitter for my husband so he doesn’t hurt himself while I pay bills or go to the gym.

What they don’t know yet is that I am going to hound them until I die, Barry dies, or they provide the promised coverage. Period. Because I don’t have a job (and can’t make a real employment commitment without respite care), I have nothing to lose by pestering them endlessly. I have nothing to lose, nothing better to do, and all the time in the world to do it. I am a very bad person to mess with right now. I am a ridiculously over-educated caretaker with a mission to get myself some help. Without the help, the next phase of my life cannot begin. This life of never having meaning or a career is seriously not worth fighting for or preserving.

I hate the fact that I have to be a ranting, raving b****h to get my needs met. I really wish it didn’t have to be this way, but being a nice, good little victim has gotten me nowhere. This is emotionally exhausting, but it’s not like I have anything better to do.

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About cdhoagpurple

I live in Michigan. I was Greek Orthodox (and previously Protestant), but now am more Buddhist than anything. I am single now (through the till-death-do-you-part clause of the marriage contract). My husband Barry was a good man and celebrated 30 years in AA. I am overly educated, with an MBA. My life felt terminally in-limbo while caring for a sick husband, but I am free now. I see all things as being in transition. Impermanence is the ultimate fact of life. Nothing remains the same, good or bad.

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